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Modesty Is a Story, Not a Style

I’ve seen talk recently regarding modesty, and most of it focuses on modest attire. However, attire is an action, and actions are consequences of feelings, which in turn are consequences of the stories we tell ourselves. So the question becomes: if we want modest behaviors, we need modest feelings and modest stories. So what are the immodest stories people tell themselves? Why are they telling themselves these stories? And how can we help people shift to modest stories? The Fitting-In Story I have a friend who recently got into trouble because he commented on his niece’s attire. He thought he was doing the right thing by critiquing her clothes, but he quickly learned that men aren’t allowed to comment on women’s clothing. This niece’s mom talked about how her daughter is just trying to fit in with her friends. The daughter doesn’t wear what she does in order to get the attention of boys or to stand out. She wears it so she can fit in—the right brand of clothes, phone, watch, car, d...
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The Eye of the Needle: Letting Go of What We Use to Measure Up

There is a story in the New Testament commonly called "the Rich Young Ruler," recorded in Matthew 19:16–30 , Mark 10:17–31, and Luke 18:18–30 . I want to focus on Mark’s account, which adds touching and revealing details. 17 And when he was gone forth into the way, there came one running, and kneeled to him, and asked him, Good Master, what shall I do that I may inherit eternal life? 18 And Jesus said unto him, Why callest thou me good? there is none good but one, that is, God. 19 Thou knowest the commandments, Do not commit adultery, Do not kill, Do not steal, Do not bear false witness, Defraud not, Honour thy father and mother. 20 And he answered and said unto him, Master, all these have I observed from my youth. 21 Then Jesus beholding him loved him, and said unto him, One thing thou lackest: go thy way, sell whatsoever thou hast, and give to the poor, and thou shalt have treasure in heaven: and come, take up the cross, and follow me. 22 And he was sad at that saying, and...
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The Seduction of Control: Proving I Matter—and the Freedom of Letting Go

The Ache We All Carry We all want to matter. Deep down, there's this quiet, persistent ache: Does my life count? Am I seen? Am I enough? From childhood we learn that if I can control how I'm perceived—smart, faithful, successful, right—then I must matter. Control becomes the way we prove our worth. We grip outcomes, perceptions, even eternity, because if we can nail them, we feel safe. We feel real. My Fortress of Proof I know this ache intimately. For years, it drove everything I did. I spent so much time trying to prove Mormonism was true. I collected evidence, scriptures, historical data, logical arguments—anything that could shore up the fortress. I did the same with The Family: A Proclamation to the World . I memorized key phrases, studied counter-claims, prepared "gotchas" for doubters. I wanted to demonstrate, beyond question, that this was the path. That I was on the right path. The effort didn't stop at church. I pursued a PhD partly because it felt ...
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The Brand in Our Hands

We've journeyed through some unexpected territory in these posts. In the first, I shared my dad's napkin sketch of the Jesus fish , a reminder that symbols can divide us as easily as they unite us—and that the mark of the beast might be hiding in plain sight, not as a futuristic implant, but as something we've already embraced. The second post connected Revelation to Lehi's dream , framing the dragon's influence as that inner voice insisting our worth must be proven, displayed, and defended. And in the third, those childhood locusts-turned-helicopters showed how John's visions can map onto modern realities without twisting the text, urging us to look for symbols we voluntarily wear on our heads and hands. We each want to know that we matter. There are a lot of situations where we feel like we don't matter. A fight with a sibling. A condescending remark from a parent or adult relative. A derisive statement from a cousin or classmate. And with that feeling li...
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The Locusts in My Primary Class

This is a continuation of an exploration into the book of Revelation. Part 1 is here , while part 2 is here . When Revelation Sounds Like Rotor Blades When I was ten, my dad was asked to teach a Primary inservice on “Helping Children Understand Revelation.” He walked in with crayons, paper, and a goal to draw the locusts from Revelation chapter 9 . He read a verse. The kids shouted ideas. He drew exactly what we said—while (I now realize) gently steering us toward something he already had in mind. “Power like scorpions” → stingers in the tail. “Don’t hurt the grass, only people who don’t have God’s seal” → they can tell who’s who. “Faces like men” → pilots inside. “Hair like women” → long, whipping in the wind floating above the faces. “Teeth like lions” → shark mouths painted on the nose. “Breastplates of iron” → armored underside. “Sound of their wings like many horses and chariots” → whump-whump-whump-whump. “Tails like serpents with heads” → belt-fed machine guns that spit ...
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The Tree, the Rod, and the Dragon

This is a continuation of a prior blog post . Revelation Is Lehi’s Dream on Steroids For years I treated Lehi’s dream and the book of Revelation as two completely separate files in my brain. Lehi’s dream = Book of Mormon, baptism, enduring to the end. Revelation = scary New Testament stuff with trumpets, beasts, and war. Then I re-read 1 Nephi 11–14 , slowly, and something clicked so hard it turned my whole framework sideways. Nephi prays to understand his father’s dream. An angel shows him the tree, the rod, the river, the great and spacious building… and then just keeps going. The vision flows without a break into wars, apostasy, the Restoration, and finally “ the apostle of the Lamb, whose name was John ” writing the exact things Nephi is now seeing. This wasn’t a new topic. Revelation is the second half of the same answer. Lehi’s dream is the simple children’s version. Revelation is the same story shot through with dragons, trumpets, and cosmic warfare because the stakes aren’t jus...
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The Mark We All Missed

The Jesus Fish in the Rear Window When I was sixteen, my dad came home from work laughing about a debate he’d just survived. A coworker, knowing Dad was Mormon, cornered him with his ultimate evangelical gotcha du jour: “Latter-day Saint temple garments are the mark of the beast. Revelation 13:16 says it’s worn on the body and it’s a sign of false worship ( 14:11 ,  16:2 ,  19:20 ).” Dad listened politely, then said, “That’s interesting. Because lately I’ve been seeing a mark which is prominently displayed, people refuse to do business without it ( 13:17 ), and plenty treat it like a badge of righteousness.” The coworker couldn't resist. “What is it?” Dad grabbed a napkin and drew: ⟨>< The Jesus fish . He went on: “You won’t do business with a plumber or a daycare unless that little fish is on their truck or their ad. People display it proudly. Some even worship the feeling of superiority it gives them.” The coworker went silent. Topic closed. Dad still doesn’t...
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