The Spirit of Christ

Below is the text from a talk I gave a few years ago. It speaks about what I believe the Spirit of Christ to be and how it impacts each of us in our lives.

I've been asked to speak to you today on a topic of my choice. Upon reflection I've decided to speak about Shame vs. the Spirit of Christ.

One big problem I see in the world is that it is currently powered by Shame. Every angle of society seems to say "you are not enough". We aren't wealthy enough. We aren't thin enough. We aren't strong enough. We aren't smart enough. We aren't clever enough. We aren't popular enough. We aren't humble enough. We aren't caring enough. We aren't righteous enough. We just aren't enough.

Tied to these "not enough" statements is a belief that we need to prove to the world that we are worth something. Anything! That at a minimum we deserve to be seen and recognized.

If we are going to prove that we are worth something, then we try to collect evidence of our worth--evidence that we are worth regarding as people; getting "likes" or "followers" as evidence of value; earning grades, rank, and money to show our competence; buying houses, vehicles, and tech to show that we belong among our neighbors; using snark and sarcasm to show that we are smarter than others.

But the reality is these "not enough" statements are lies and the evidence we collect proves nothing. All the evidence we collect is only evidence if other people agree that it is evidence and anyone, including all of society, can choose to not see it as evidence.

Consequently all this evidence is dead. It can't see us. It can't talk to us. It can't assure us of our worth. Only other people can do that. But only if those people regard us as being worthwhile.

So what do we do? How are we ever enough? How to we prove to others that we deserve to be regarded as worthwhile? How do we get evidence that is alive? How do we get evidence that recognizes us? How do we get evidence that regards us and our worth?

This is where I would like to speak to you about the Spirit of Christ.

The phrase "the Spirit of Christ" appears only 4 times in the Standard works; once in the New Testament, once in the Doctrine and Covenants, and twice in the Book of Mormon. One of those was stated by Mormon in a posthumously written talk. Let's turn to Moroni chapter 7, vs 16.

Moroni 7: 16 -- "For behold, the Spirit of Christ is given to every man that he may know good from evil;…"

Mormon then proceeds to explain how we can use the Spirit of Christ to differentiate between good and evil: he refers to this as "the light of Christ" because it can make the difference as clear as light is separated from darkness; life is separated from death. And finally he talks about how faith, hope, and charity are essential to using the light of Christ to make good choices. 

What is the Spirit of Christ?

What is a "Spirit"? Most of the time we think of a spirit as a ghost. But there is a more archaic definition: "a highly refined substance or fluid thought to govern vital phenomena." Back when people were first trying to make alcoholic drinks—also known as "spirits"—they were trying to capture the spirit of flowers. It might be more accurate, then, to say they were trying to extract the essence of flowers.

With that idea in mind, "the Spirit of Christ" would be the essence of Christ. And what would be the essence of Christ? What is his most defining characteristic? In my opinion, his defining characteristic is the fact that to him, each person matters. He loves everyone, equally.

In which case, if "the Spirit of Christ is given to every man" then each of us has that essence in us. Each of us has the capacity to see other people as mattering just as much as we ourselves matter. We are not worth more than anyone else, and we are not worth less than anyone else.

If we each have the Spirit of Christ how does it show up in our lives?

Any time we interact with another person, our minds create a representation of that person. I am going to refer to this representation as a model. This model is collected from a large number of data points from that person's words and tone of voice, to their eyes and expressions, to their body posture and engagement. The details of this model are often not conscious to us but we trust it to inform us about that person's motivations and relationship to us. That model is presented by our minds to our spirits, and we have a choice: to treat that person like they matter, or to treat them like they don't. Our feelings about that person, and the actions we take with respect to that person flow directly from that choice.

In addition, any time someone interacts with us, our brains produce a model of whether we are being treated as though we matter. How we feel about that person flows directly from the sense tied up in that model. We then have a choice of how to view that person and thus respond: Do they matter or not?

Each of us is very sensitive to whether we sense that we matter.

How does the Spirit of Christ benefit us in our lives?

When we honor the Spirit of Christ, the right things will happen in our lives. Most importantly, honoring the Spirit of Christ brings us peace. When we are at peace then we don't need tangible evidence of our worth. In addition to peace, when we honor the Spirit of Christ our minds will find amazingly creative ways to make sure everyone knows that they matter, including ourselves.

On the other hand, if we don't honor the Spirit of Christ then we are troubled. Then we need to gather evidence which made it okay to treat others poorly. Then we need to gather allies to support our evidence.

I want to tell you some stories to help illustrate important experiences I have had with the Spirit of Christ.

Coworker

Early on in my career at Microsoft I was a young, passionate coder and I had a lot to prove. I have a lot to prove.

But I am also human and I make mistakes, sometimes very disruptive mistakes. One day, one of my coworkers became upset with my mistakes, and, in a team meeting, he proceeded to lambast my engineering skills in front of the rest of the team. After taking these statements for several minutes I was fed up. I turned to my manager and said, "When you want to talk about something real, you can call me back." And I left.

Plus one for Richard's snark! It seems like I would feel proud for standing up for myself in that moment, but the reality is I went outside and cried. I hated myself for what I had done, and I couldn't figure out why. I didn't need this person's approval, and I wasn't looking to make friends. Besides, he was clearly far more belligerent than what I had returned to him.

However, deep inside I was very upset about my response to him.

In thinking about it later, I realized that his statements about me weren't actually about me; they were about him. He saw himself as only being valuable in not "wasting other people's time." And, he needed my failures as evidence of his worth. Had I really seen him in that moment and honored the fact that he mattered, I would have diffused the situation somehow; our minds are endlessly creative that way.

Instead, I saw him as a tool to prove that I was somehow superior. Although the Spirit of Christ was there for me in that moment, I didn't honor it, because I hadn't honored it in smaller ways in my prior interactions with my coworker. I had weakened my ability to see him as a person.

These days, I regularly interact with him, and I am better able to see him as a person. It helps that I'm not on that team, and that we share rank, but, regardless, my interactions are now completely devoid of anger, angst, and shame. I can see him as a person, and he matters.

Nephew

A few years ago Dawn and I were visiting her brother and his family. The youngest child in that family was 6 at the time. He is a delightful child who has a comfort blanket. It's split into 2 pieces and, although he typically doesn't carry it during the day, at night—because of his fears—he needs at least one to help him sleep. He's adorable.

The day that we visited, I spent my time with the kids in that family. I deferred to the kids for all the chosen activities: we played Uno, video games, on the trampoline, and just had a grand old time. I don't remember the specifics of that day other than that I just enjoyed everyone's company, and I never felt like I had anything to prove to them.

That evening, after dinner, the kids had to perform their nightly bedtime rituals. When those were finished the parents came back downstairs to talk with Dawn and me for a few minutes before we were to leave for the airport to return home. About 5 minutes into our discussion, the youngest child came downstairs with his blankies up against his face, his legs shaking, and a quiver in his voice as he said, "Uncle Richard? I want you to have my blankie."

I was absolutely stunned. I don't think that there was anything specific I did that day to earn his trust; All I did was treat him like he mattered.

What can we do to honor to the Spirit of Christ?

In closing, I would like to call you to repentance--not the kind of calling to repentance where I tell you how unacceptable you are, because that's a lie. Each of us matters, and each of us deserves to be treated like we matter.

You especially need to treat yourself like you matter, otherwise you will need to find evidence of why you don't, and there is no evidence you can collect that can honestly tell you that you don't matter. I know--I've tried. Sometimes, I still believe my lying evidence, but the Spirit of Christ is always there telling me that I matter.

It takes Hope to be able to honor the Spirit of Christ. You need to hope that things will turn out well after you choose to treat people like they matter.

It takes Faith—which is belief plus action—to honor the Spirit of Christ. You need to decide to honor that Spirit and then the actions will flow naturally from that decision.

But most importantly, it takes Charity to honor the Spirit of Christ. We have to want to treat others like they matter as much as we matter before Hope and Faith can take effect, and once they take effect our Charity grows.

As we each increase our capacity to honor the Spirit of Christ, we will honor each other. As people feel honored, safe, and like they matter, they won't feel the need to hide. When you feel safe with yourself; you won't feel the need to flee from yourself. And when people are invited to be present, they no longer spend energy worrying whether they are enough—because they are. The energy that normally would be spent on worry can then go toward things that really matter, like moving mountains of fear to offer a loved one a blankie.

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