Modesty Is a Story, Not a Style
I’ve seen talk recently regarding modesty, and most of it focuses on modest attire. However, attire is an action, and actions are consequences of feelings, which in turn are consequences of the stories we tell ourselves. So the question becomes: if we want modest behaviors, we need modest feelings and modest stories. So what are the immodest stories people tell themselves? Why are they telling themselves these stories? And how can we help people shift to modest stories? The Fitting-In Story I have a friend who recently got into trouble because he commented on his niece’s attire. He thought he was doing the right thing by critiquing her clothes, but he quickly learned that men aren’t allowed to comment on women’s clothing. This niece’s mom talked about how her daughter is just trying to fit in with her friends. The daughter doesn’t wear what she does in order to get the attention of boys or to stand out. She wears it so she can fit in—the right brand of clothes, phone, watch, car, d...